I’m still swirling in an emotional wind of, “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo….don’t DO THAT!”

I was at work.  We have a juke-box.  I love juke-boxes.  They happen to rock my world.   Love the clinking and clanking of the quarters hitting against the metal as I push those little square numbers, just to hear the “flip-flop” of the disk whacking against each other.  The bright lights and the pretty colors that vibrate during all this music choice commotion.  Really, there is nothing better than sitting in a booth, having some hot coffee, and playing the juke box. 

but that all changed today.

These men in blue jeans came in with a dolly and trucked that magic music box right on out of the restaurant.  I watched.  I felt.  and I felt like I had just lost a great friend.  These men in blue jeans, then hauled in this big ugly robot looking box and placed it where the juke box used to sit.  “What is THAT!”  was floating around in my head. 

Guess what it is?  The young will know, the middle aged might know, and the old won’t have a clue.  (and I guess that puts me in the old department because I was standing there so confused)  –The answer is…an internet jukebox.  You can now choose whatever song in the world you want to hear, and boom, there it is.  Yes, for only one dollar –per song that is (ANOTHER gasp on my part) you can play country, rap, classical or whatever your little heart desires. 

And this causes another problem, because about the first person that ask me how to use that “thang”  –I’m going to have to look them in the eyes and say, “frankly, my dear, I don’t know and I don’t give a damn”–

because I want the old jukebox back.  I want the “you only have 64 choices to choose from”–

AND NOW…I understand why my grandpa, many, many moons ago….looked at the microwave and shook his head.

Life….always changing….but are we?

CHELLE–(I’m only paying a quarter to hear one sing)

Oh I will tell you what.  They make me think that someone cares.  Now why would I say this?  BECAUSE for as long as I have been on my own in life, I have been blowing up balloons for random people.  Birthdays, holidays, just because days and random occasions–you better believe it, I’ve been blowing up balloons. 

Which brings me to the “someone cares” point.  It’s a lot of work blowing up balloons.  I have sat for hours and huffed and puffed and blown my brain cells out blowing up balloons to put a smile on someone’s face.  And to tell you the truth, I don’t really know if I have or not, I just know that was always my goal with the balloons and I have faithfully done it throughout the years.  Not only is balloons a lot of work, but then there is the whole process of cutting, curling and tying ribbon on to these round balls of air.

This is a sure sign that someone cares–and a sure sign I’m getting burnt out on balloons.  BUT…this will not stop me from making sure my loved ones have balloons…well, because I care.

BUT…WOE IS ME!  Does anyone blow balloons up for me?  Oh no.  No, they don’t.  and frankly, I’m starting to resisnt it.  I don’t need diamands and pearls…I need balloons.  SO this is where my story gets good.–it probably wouldn’t be good, but it really happened so that is why I feel like this story is extremely cool.

The other day I was thinking about my birthday and wondering if I would get a balloon.  But then I’ve always thought about my birthday and always wonder if I will get balloons.  and I get myself all worked up into this frenzy that this will be the year it will happen.  Oh, it never happens, but you all know me, I’m a big O dreamer.  Now of course I won’t tell anyone this, because if you tell someone you want balloons, it just takes away from the whole, “they gave me balloons”…

AND ALAS!  This morning when Dan the Man woke up, we were having our regular morning chit chat.  It always starts out like this.

DAN:  Did you sleep well?

CHELLE:  (yes, no, kinda–or whatever the answer is for the day)

CHELLE:  Did you?

DAN:  (same answer as mine)

BUT THIS morning was different….it went like this:

DAN:  I had a dream we were traveling.

CHELLE:  Oh yeah?  Where did we go.

DAN:  I don’t know, but we were at a motel and they were having circus entertainment and all of a sudden you were holding a big bunch of balloons.  and you looked so happy.  Then they showered you in glitter.  I took a picture.  It was a really cool picture.   Balloons, glitter, and you smiling.  but there was this random girl, she looked homely.  She just ran into your shower of glitter and wanted all the attention. 

CHELLE:  Really?  What did I do?  (and I was holding my breath because I was really hoping I wasn’t hateful in this dream, due to, well how long had I waited for this balloon moment?  — ugh, only my whole life!)

DAN:  Well, you took her hands and held them and you two jumped up and down and ran in place and smiled and laughed.

CHELLE:  (whew)  Awwww that is way cool Dan.  I love balloons and I love glitter. and I’m really glad I shared that with that girl.

DAN:  I know.

CHELLE:  You do?  You really do know that?  I really didn’t think you knew that.

DAN:  Oh, I know that.

CHELLE:  (little tear in my eye now)  I really love that dream Dan.  Thank you.  Thank you for having that dream.

and now I feel like my balloon dreams have come true.  Because, really, anyone can blow up a balloon, but how many people dream about YOU AND BALLOONS…true love?  Oh I think so. 

Happiness is a bunch of balloons 

CHELLE floating around in life on a string

I worked today.  And I made a very interesting observation.  I don’t get people.  I really don’t. 

So here I am, doing my waitress thing…pouring coffee, buttering toast, taking orders, minding my own little world of I can’t wait to get these last two weeks finished.  The waitress trainer comes up to me and tells me I can go outside for a break.  She is training two girls today and said we were so slow that she said everything would be fine.  I smiled because I am all about running outside.  I checked on my customers, poured a cup of coffee and slithered out the back door.  The air-conditioner isn’t working right today so when the cool breeze hit my face, I felt like a new woman.  I sat there and enjoyed the quiet, if for only a few minutes.

SO…I when I came back inside our new assistant manager ask me if I went out the back door.  and I said.  “Yes”, and he said, “We can’t be out back, you need to go out to the front instead, but I won’t tell anybody.”  and I said, “Ok.”–and then I thought to myself, I’ve got like six more days here, does it matter if you tell somebody?  but I only thought that. 

AND then the waitress trainer and the two new girls went trucking…oh where? out the back door. 

Well, me being me, marches right up to my assistant manager and says, “Uhm, excuse me but I just made an observation, and that would be that your waitress trainer and trainee’s just went trucking out the back door.”  and Assistant manager said, “Oh I know, and in fact, I am going to be going out the back door in a few seconds myself.”  and me, being me, just stood there and smiled.  REALLY?  

Now mind you, nobody was mad or upset, just very matter of factly.  but I’m still frazzled over what happened.  Let me see here, You want Me to do things the right way, but everyone else can just do as they want?  Got it.  and don’t worry my dear friends, I won’t tell anyone. 

but this is one of the many occurances that make me think people expect a heck of a lot more out of me than they do themselves.  Not sure if I should be flattered or stressed?  and now that I’m old and into picking up on all these small details in life, I get my feathers ruffled.  Synical?  Bitter?  or do I just think if you are going to ask something out me, you better be expecting the same thing out of yourself. 

It is Monday tho.  Monday.  I bet Monday feels like I do.  Everyone hates poor Old Monday.  And Monday didn’t do anything to anyone.  But Monday sure gets the heat of it all.  Chelle and Monday.  We should just go lay on the couch and tell the shrink how it is.  HA!  (but I’m guilty of slamming poor old Monday myself)  I have tripped, forgot, dropped, stuttered and fumbled around all day.  and what do I say?  I say, “Well, it’s Monday for you.”

One more thought about my day and Monday.  I received a text this morning from the wrong number.  This is what it said.

Oops lucy didn’t wake me up until 8:35  where are you eating today I love you

                                       and this is what I said

Oops ricky wrong number but I love you too and i think I will have a waffle lol

and I wonder if that person said….

OH BROTHER…It’s such a Monday! 

and on that note:  I’m going to finish today up and guess what?  Tomorrow is Tuesday.  and I’m going out the back door. 

CHELLE

I look everywhere.

Here, There. Over. Under.

Peeking around every corner.

I know I’m going to find it.

Someday and sometime.

I know it’s out there.

Waiting for me to show up.

I feel the strong desire of

what I’m missing.

It is real and I’m not kidding.

I feel the need to find it.

I’ve looked and searched.

For what seems like forever.

but my life is not  finished.

So I’m still searching and wandering.

It can’t be that hard.  Or is it?

This thing that I want.

but can’t find.

It has to be out there.

Somewhere.

If you happen to see it.

Will you give me a call.

I would appreciate any

hints at all.

So until my search is over.

I will not give up.

I will look and dig.

I will never give up.

CHELLE –looking, but not sure what I’m looking for.

Two L words

That make it hard to function

in this big old world.

For God so gave His only Son.  I tell you He did this out of Love.

because that wasn’t a very logical idea.  Who in their logical mind

would give their firstborn to save this world?

God told Noah to build an ark. 

Bring the animals in two by two.

Noah did and people laughed.

Called him crazy and talked a lot of smack.

Logical?  I would think not. 

But God still loved and was giving everyone one more chance.

Jonah and the Whale?  Come on now. 

It makes no logic to me how a man can

survive in the belly of a whale-

for three days at that, while he begged God

for forgiveness just to come hurling back

out as the whale was gagging.

The stories in the bible are true to me.

I’m thinking they make no logical sense

in this new tech world.

Isn’t it amazing how love works?

People call me crazy

because  I see things different.

I wander around in love and

have no common logic.

Oh wait.  I just thought of a few more L words.

Life and Lord.

If you are with the Lord, then love will prevail

One will have everlasting life

not this logic war.

L

Loaded with Love

Lost all my logic

Life will be better when

the Lord comes back and

and gathers His lovers

L

cheLLe

Chase that pretty dream that roams in you head

Run Run Run my friend

Chase and laugh and smile before you are dead

Run in the rain with your net

Dance and sing and get wet

It’s all just for a little while

Dance and sing until you break out into a sweat

Run with the wind with your net

Don’t try to go the opposite direction

You will only rip the cloth

of your inner happiness

Run from the bitter cold that attacks

Knock it off with a warmth from your inner strength

Run from the chills and thrills

Wrap yourself up in love and compassion

Seasons will come, seasons will go

It’s up to us to clothe

for the appropriate weather

Check your inner wardrobe for

the appropriate direction

God is a style that will always be in

He is one size fits all and His love

hangs on till the end

I depend on Him to be my life net. 

The net that holds sturdy through

all life’s events.

CHELLE